
Washinton D.C.—
President Donald Trump just launched a series of tweets reigniting a Twitter feud he started with Paul McCartney back in 2018 after the Beatles singer called him a “mad captain.”
The following are tweets Trump posted insulting McCartney:
“The Beatles are the most overrated band in history! What’s with their accents? Are they from Alabama? They talk like they have more marbles in their mouths than Jeff Sessions! Their music isn’t catchy at all, and Paul McCartney is less talented than even Ringo! Their songs are all trash!”
“‘Can’t Buy Me Love?’ Are you kidding me? I buy love all the time! And then I pay extra to keep the girls quiet! I thought Paul McCartney was rich… I guess not! Maybe that’s why he wrote the song ‘Penny Lane!’ If I had written it, I’d have called it ‘Hundred Dollar Lane!'”
“‘Taxman?’ Paul McCartney pays taxes?? What an idiot! He’s even dumber than I thought! ‘Fixing A Hole?’ I hope Paul didn’t pay that contractor after fixing his hole! Paul will never get rich like me paying taxes and his contractors!”
“Paperback Writer? Not me! The Art of the Deal is a hardcover masterpiece! You make more money with hardcovers, everyone knows that! Except Paul McFARTney I guess! And only a loser writes a song like ‘Yesterday!’ I’m using my unpresidented IQ to Make America Great Again TODAY and TOMORROW!”
“‘Hey, Jude?’ Is that a song for Jews only? I think there are fine songs on BOTH sides! ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand?’ Talk about a real beta move! Not like me, who is a total ALPHA! I grab women full on by the p****! And I don’t ask!”
“Even worse is the song ‘Blackbird,’ which only encourages ANTIFA thugs. I’d like to hear a song about law-abiding WHITEbirds! And I have some obvious ideas on how to improve the theme and lyrics of ‘Golden Slumbers!'”
From The Halfway Post vault:
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