Trump Promises His Plan To Beat COVID Will Be Unveiled November 4th

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump pushed back against critics who claim he has given up the fight against COVID-19, and published several tweets this morning promising he “had COVID right where he wants it!”

The following are his tweets:

“The Fake News Media is more dangerous than COVID when they lie and say I have no plan! I have a big, beautiful, tremendous plan coming out in 2 weeks! No, even better! November 4th! Trust me, you’re not going to believe how great this anti-COVID plan will be!”

“The day after the election is going to be the best day in American history! It’ll be the day COVID surrenders! I want to tell you my plan now, but I can’t because then COVID would hear it! I can’t give COVID any clues! I have to keep COVID guessing!”

“COVID wants Joe Biden to win. COVID wishes so hard that Sleepy Joe will win (so does the Fake News!) COVID knows Joe doesn’t have the energy to beat it like I do! He’s so slow and frail, I don’t know how Joe hasn’t gotten COVID yet!”

“I’m surprised it was me who got COVID when I’ve been flying around in a plane to all my big rallies. I was surprised that COVID was able to keep up with me! The crowds were so big I don’t know how COVID picked me out of the mass of people! But I learned all about COVID in the hospital, and now that I’m immune forever I have the perfect plan to defeat it! So stay tuned!”

“November 4th! Right after the Big Red Wave that will be so big it will scare COVID away! And my plan will destroy all the straggler COVID germs! I so wish I could tell you all right now! You won’t believe how amazing my COVID plan is! And it’s also my TrumpCare plan too! 2 for the price of 1! November 4th!!!”

From The Halfway Post vault:

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