Washington D.C.—
Senator Lindsey Graham has claimed he just learned that President Donald Trump did not shave off even a dollar from the national debt.
“Gosh darn it, I feel real hoodwinked,” Mr. Graham told reporters today. “I was signing my name voting yes to all of these Trump Administration budgets taking Trump’s word that the debt was going down, but, sure enough, his tax cuts, farmer bailouts, and military spending did not cure our deficit problems at all. In fact, Trump’s spending was worse than Obama’s! I can’t believe he never mentioned he was going over budget when we were golfing together! I specifically asked him about spending, and the President said he was so positive the debt would be completely erased by the end of his first term that he would personally pay any money that America still owed out of his own wallet. I called him last night reminding him about his pledge, and he told me he really wanted to pay the debt off because he was so rich and he could so easily pay it without even noticing any money was gone, but that the IRS was auditing him so he couldn’t even buy a stick of gum, let alone the debts of the US Treasury. I feel, quite frankly, that my friendship was betrayed. Well, once Joe Biden takes over we’ll get serious about the budget. It’s obvious that Congress needs to cut taxes for the rich even more to get this debt under control, once and for all! You know, it’s sad that Republican presidents keep having such a bad record on the debt, from Reagan to George W. Bush to Trump, especially because we’re so good at passing tax cuts that will grow the economy and pay for themselves… any decade now!”
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