Donald Trump Threatens Joe Biden If He “Ever Hurts” His Lover, Kim Jong Un

Washington D.C.—

A leaked letter President Donald Trump wrote to President-Elect Joe Biden just leaked to The Halfway Post:

Dear Joe,

I’m hearing that you cheated enough in the election to take my job, but just know that I will be watching you and your negotiations with North Korea. I may be leaving office, but I will always love Kim Jong Un, and if you ever hurt him, mark my words: I will come after you. If you hurt his feelings, or mock his haircut publicly, or laugh at his military uniform filled with unearned medals, or imply his penis is small with rocket-related metaphors… you don’t even want to know what I will do. I don’t care if your DOJ and NY friends and cronies arrest me and imprison me, I will direct people who are outside of prison to make your life miserable, okay? So treat Kim Jong Un right, because you have no idea how lucky you are to have him as a nuclear disarmament negotiating partner. He’s a beautiful soul, who really knows a genius when he sees one, and he always said the most flattering things to me. It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about what a great guy he is. So always remember that I’m watching you. If I ever hear a hint that you made Kim Jong Un cry, you’ll be the one crying. I guarantee it.

Insincerely,

Donald

P.S. Ivanka is off-limits. You can send Eric, Don Jr., Tiffany or Barron to prison if you want, but you better not imprison a hair on my sweet angel’s gorgeous girlfriend-material head!!!

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