The summer festival season is upon us, and this year’s BonnarQ Music & Arts Festival has a bomb lineup!
Friday
10pm: DJ Jewish Space Laser
9pm: COVID Mask Burning Party under the 20-foot effigy of Dr. Fauci
8pm: Don “Red Eyes” Jr.’s slurry, congested spoken word poem “Triggering The Libs”
7pm: Kellyanne & The Alternative Facts
6pm: A debate on the following topic “Did Hitler have SOME good ideas?”
5pm: Red Hat Öyster Cult
4pm: Boyz II Nazis
Saturday
10pm: Lindsey Graham and Kevin McCarthy leading a blood oath to Donald Trump
9pm: Mike Pence w/ special guest THE FLY
8pm: A PSA from the Russian Government
7pm: Roger Stone getting a tattoo of Donald Trump under his Nixon tat
6pm: Matt Gaetz’ Teen Trumpettes
5pm: Jim Jordan conducting wrestling lessons on a blowup doll with Adam Schiff’s face
4pm: Make-Your-Own-Robes Craft Hour hosted by the Florida KKK
3pm: Stephen Miller’s homemade horror film (rated NC-17)
2pm: Selected readings from Mein Kampf by Sebastian Gorka
1pm: The Dog Whistle Country Band
12pm: Eric Trump’s Tremendous Magic Show
Sunday
10pm: Donald Trump ranting for 90 minutes about toilets, showers, and windmills
9pm: 13-Year-Old Ivanka Lookalike Competition, hosted and judged by Donald Trump
8pm: Roast of Ted Cruz, hosted by Donald Trump
7pm: Rudy Giuliani reading selected excerpts from Hunter Biden’s Laptop
6pm: Mike Lindell’s one-act play “Pillow Talk”
5pm: A Paul Manafort & Konstantin Kilimnik Q&A on the 2016 election
4pm: TBD (the blackface sketch show has been canceled due to political correctness)
3pm: The Steve Bannon Blood & Soil Bluegrass Duo
2pm: A panel discussion from “The 1488 Project”
1pm: Louie Gohmert’s Metal Triangle Band
12pm: Coloring Contest: Trump’s 2024 Electoral College victory map
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