Help me make fun of the Trump Administration all day long. Become a paid subscriber to support me for just $2.50 a month.
- The attendance at Trump’s 250th fair on the National Mall was so low that public masturbators reportedly made up 3% of the total attendees.
- Donald Trump’s line to Ukrainian President Zelensky, “You don’t have the cards,” just got voted by presidential historians as the dumbest foreign policy quote of the 21st Century.
- Evangelical MAGA fans say they feel “shocked” and “betrayed” that Trump appears to be violating his sacred Christian marital vows to Melania with Natalie Harp.
- The attendance at the 250th fair is so humiliatingly low that Trump has reportedly started referring to it as the “Biden Fair.”
- Trump reportedly has a plan in place to send Navy SEALs to Moscow to secure the pee tape if a military coup overthrows Vladimir Putin.
- A dozen protesters are reportedly walking laps around the Reflecting Pool dressed as swamp monsters.
- MAGA activity on all the major social media platforms is reportedly down 50% since Russia started going broke.
- White House doctors are reportedly warning Trump that his heart is too fragile for him to be “elevating his heart rate while spending private time around Natalie Harp,” his young “obsessive” staffer.
- A national publisher of high school history textbooks just printed a new edition of US history books that explain why Trump’s Iran War and refusal to support Ukraine as the “most anti-US national security foreign policy blunders by any US president ever.”
- Trump is reportedly worried about his post-presidency options now that Israel is blacklisting him and Putin is increasingly likely to be thrown out of a window because he’s running out of places he can flee to.
- Trump is reportedly accusing Jared Kushner of “ruining his presidency” by tricking him into starting the Iran War.
- Trump is reportedly furious with his staff for organizing such a boring 250th fair, furious with his MAGA fans for not attending, and furious with liberals for mocking the failure on social media, but says he personally has done everything perfectly.
- Several porta-potties reportedly fell over at Trump’s 250th fair spilling excrement out onto the National Mall.
- Trump is reportedly “apocalyptically angry” that the Supreme Court’s rejection of his E. Jean Carroll guilty verdict appeal, means that he’s officially, once and for all, a rapey, raping rapist.
- White House doctors are reportedly asking Natalie Harp not to do anything “intimate” with Trump because, if he takes a Viagra, it will likely interfere with his weak heart, clogged arteries, two-dozen medications, and experimental weight loss pills and kill him.
- If you enjoy my warped sense of humor, become a paid subscriber to support my comedy that so relentlessly mocks the Trump Administration every day for just $2.50 a month! 🥃
☕️ Or buy me a coffee if you want to help keep me caffeinated.
Our social media platforms are getting scrambled by oligarchs so if you like my writing, diversify where you follow me so you never miss my jokes to interrupt your doomscrolling: Threads, Twitter, Bluesky, Facebook, Instagram, Spoutible, Medium, and Substack.
If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published three books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, Satire In The Biden Years, and Trump Comedy.
I’ve also published four existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, Hotel Golden Hours, and Nostradoofus.
The Halfway Post 