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- Public health experts are calling the ongoing diarrhea epidemic “Trumporrhea” in honor of Trump’s relentless cuts to food safety that caused it.
- Kentucky Democrats are calling for holding the special election to replace Mitch McConnell, and if McConnell is alive he’s welcome to show up in person and campaign for his seat in whatever physical or cognitive condition he’s in.
- The Gulf Arab states are reportedly pissed they’ve spent a trillion dollars for political bribes via Jared Kushner’s and Trump’s various investment funds, crypto fraud schemes, and Trump’s private jet, yet now they’re more afraid of Iranian bombings and Iranian domination over their trade routes through the Strait of Hormuz than ever before.
- Trump is reportedly furious everyone online is calling his new plane “Bribe Force One.”
- White House staffers say Trump is “obsessed” with how big the Versailles ballroom where he signed the Iran Deal is, and he’s saying he “may have to bulldoze a little more of the White House” to ensure his is bigger than Louis XIV’s ballroom.
- Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear is reportedly being pressured “day and night” to do exactly what Mitch McConnell would do: ruthlessly ram through the replacement election without any regard for norms out of pure partisan opportunism.
- Top GOP officials are reportedly alarmed over polling in South Carolina’s tightening Senate race that shows almost zero Republican voters are “enthusiastic” to vote for Lindsey Graham.
- CNN’s Jake Tapper is reportedly pissed everyone expects him to be consistent about attacking Republicans who are hiding their bad health as harshly as he attacked Joe Biden.
- Trump claims his 47th Iranian ceasefire deal will be “the real one” in honor of his second presidency.
- Rushing to have a replacement election in Kentucky for partisan gain is exactly what Mitch McConnell would have wanted, and it’s a perfect way to honor McConnell’s memory.
- CNN’s Scott Jennings is reportedly pissed that his blatant Republican propagandizing and bad faith debating has finally caught up with him and he might soon be fired.
- The reason Trump has stopped using his Qatari plane is reportedly because it’s so big that the staircases to get on and off, as well as to get to his private residence inside on the 2nd level, have too many steps that exhaust him and pose a risk if he falls.
- Iranian negotiators furious with Donald Trump’s ceasefire violations are now adding the following demands to a deal: Trump must admit that he lost the 2020 election and he raped E. Jean Carroll.
- Mitch McConnell reportedly “lost the will to live” after Russia went bankrupt and stopped funneling millions of dollars into Republican organizations and super PACs.
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published three books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, Satire In The Biden Years, and Trump Comedy.
I’ve also published four existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, Hotel Golden Hours, and Nostradoofus.
The Halfway Post 