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- Todd Blanche is reportedly concerned his refusal to follow laws, subpoenas, and court orders to release the Epstein Files next year will make Congress revoke his salary and defund his staff, courts fine him thousands daily, and Trump write him IOUs he’ll never pay.
- A GOP senator asked for anonymity to reveal that “everyone in Congress knows Donald Trump’s second term is a disaster,” but 1/3 of Republicans are grifting his supporters, 1/3 are afraid of Trump ending their careers, and 1/3 are afraid his cult is a danger to their families.
- Vivek Ramaswamy is reportedly uncertain if his political campaigns keep floundering because he’s an unlikeable, undeservedly cocky jerk, Republican voters are just racist, or both.
- A top GOP senator says, “Trump is just being Trump,” by falsely promising billions of dollars in mailed checks, investments in red states, and subsidies for conservative-coded demographic groups if Republicans keep control of Congress when all the money will instead immediately go toward another round of tax cuts for billionaires and corporations.
- Jared and Ivanka reportedly might move to Israel if Democrats win Congress to hide from subpoenas over scheming with Netanyahu outside the State Department to level Gaza, sabotage the Iran negotiations, and commit the US to the Iran War while profiteering from all 3.
- The GOP is writing new rules for endorsements next election that specify candidates can’t be more than 1 of these: wife-beater, child beater, pedophile, Nazi/Klan member, or a convicted felon. One GOP official said, “Too many candidates this year are two or more!”
- Stephen Miller is reportedly upset so many people globally refer to him as “Nosferatu Goebbels.”
- Trump claims, if Republicans keep control of Congress, on day one of the next session he’ll end the Ukraine and Iran war, release his Obamacare replacement deal, and start having budget surpluses, “for real this time.”
- Protesters have reportedly begun bringing hundreds of rubber ducks to Trump’s rally events and leaving them everywhere to signify he’s going to be a giant lame duck for the next two years.
- Top GOP officials are astounded Vivek Ramaswamy would put out a “Believe rapists” campaign ad, with one official pointing out, “Why is he pandering to rapists? He has an R next to his name, he already has the rapist vote locked in!”
- Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping are reportedly demanding any potential trilateral summit to discuss the wars in Ukraine and Iran must be held at an outside or open-air venue due to Trump’s notorious stench.
- A new liberal group is raising money to literally tar-and-feather any Democrat who says next year that America needs to “move on” or “look forward,” and forget about investigating and prosecuting all the fraudsters, thieves, and criminals in the Trump Administration.
Which headline was your favorite? Tell me in the comments!
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