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- A top GOP official accidentally said on a hot mic, “If Netanyahu loses reelection in Israel, and Democrats in the US win subpoena power in both chambers of Congress, all I can say is Jared Kushner is completely, totally, utterly, historically, spectacularly f*cked.”
- The Dutch spies who monitored Jared Kushner’s phone want everyone to remember that they were just piggybacking off a Russian hack, and that the Russians also saw everything Jared did, said, and jerked off to on his phone.
- Vivek Ramaswamy is reportedly worried political science textbooks for the rest of US history will include his rapist-apologist campaign ad as what NOT to do in campaigns.
- White House doctors have reportedly warned Barack Obama that he’s “3 or 4 Trump jokes away” from raising Trump’s blood pressure so high his heart explodes.
- A petition calling for Democrats to subpoena all of Jared Kushner’s financial and communication records at 12:01 PM on January 3rd, confiscate his laundered treason bribes, and deport him to Israel just gained 25 million signatures in two hours.
- Ivanka Trump reportedly never would have helped her family defraud so many charities in New York if she knew Jared’s foreign policy bribe business would become so wildly successful thanks to Marco Rubio’s State Department and the DOJ giving him complete freedom and immunity to accept giant bribes.
- Donald Trump Jr., Eric, Ivanka, Barron, and Tiffany reportedly all have fat folders of blackmail on each other for the inevitable family civil war after Trump dies over who gets which bank account, which real estate property, and which Republican member of Congress.
- The 2026 “Leopards Eating Faces Award” was given to Saudi Arabia and the UAE for bribing Trump and Jared Kushner with billions of dollars only for them to still do whatever Israel wants, and start a war in Iran that could explode and ruin all of the Gulf’s energy wealth.
- Trump’s global approval is the lowest of any US president ever now that the entire world knows he wrecked global energy prices because Jared Kushner has Israeli, Saudi, UAE, and Russian bribes stashed in foreign banks on top of the pedo tapes we already knew Israel had.
- Top Iranian officials say Trump has been calling them a dozen times every day to beg for a deal that will lower gas prices for the next week, and they put him on hold while playing audio of Obama speeches until he hangs up.
- Trump is reportedly planning on referring to Jared Kushner from now on as “just a coffee boy.”
- Trump is reportedly hinting to Todd Blanche that the DOJ could have an “accidental flooding incident” to ruin the servers all the Epstein Files are stored on like his infamous 2022 “Mar-a-Lago pool draining incident” that flooded the IT room all his resort’s surveillance video logs were kept on while Jack Smith was investigating his hoarding of classified documents.
- Jared Kushner was just named 2026’s “Nepo Baby of the Year” for pocketing billions in treasonous bribes to sideline US national security interests for peace with Iran and then start a disastrous war while also heavily invested in Israeli military-industrial companies.
- A new poll found that 80% of Americans think it’s suspicious that after Ukraine bombed Russian bot farms far right candidates in Serbia and Brazil lost, and the midterms are going spectacular for Democrats.
Which headline was your favorite? Tell me in the comments!
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