St. Louis, MO—
Michael Cohen’s recent admission that President Donald Trump knew about the infamous Russian meeting in Trump Tower before it took place has left history book publishers scrambling to print new additions of their tomes adding asterisks to every mention of Mr. Trump: “President* Donald Trump.”
The implication is, of course, that President Donald Trump is “guilty as f***” in his Russian collusion and treason accusations.
“At this point, the writing is pretty much on the wall,” explained Mark Fallow, a St. Louis native who is a third generation educational book publisher. “What with the Trump-Putin private meeting in which no one in America apparently knows what Trump talked about, and all the other endless scandals embroiling Trump personally, professionally and politically, it’s just time to acknowledge that Trump very credibly isn’t a legitimately elected president. So we’ve decided to put asterisks next to any reference to him as president. The decision is in line with our passion for educational pursuit and historical accuracy. I’m even reading news reports now that vote totals could easily have been changed by Russian hackers. It’s just looking like Trump is a Russian patsy. If we want our publishing company to continue being historically relevant, we just have to admit within our history books that Trump’s presidency is a doozie.”
Fallow’s publishing company is even sending dozens of representatives into book stores and local Goodwill stores to find every history book they can find to draw little asterisks by hand, all in the name of historical accuracy.