New York City, NY —
In a stunning new development of President Donald Trump’s legal defense, his lawyer Rudy Giuliani claimed that the President has a newly discovered long-lost twin brother.
“The President has a long-lost twin brother named Devin, and he’s the real culprit of all this collusion and treason business,” Giuliani told reporters this morning in a wild press conference.
“I’ve seen the Russian pee tape, and you can see very clearly that the man in all the pee festivities is not Donald Trump, but Devin Trump! They look very similar, but Devin has a mole above his mushroom penis, whereas Donald does not. Me and the rest of the President’s legal team have completed hours and hours of forensic evidence on the pee tape, and I have no doubt in my mind that it was Devin who got busted in the Russian kompromat sting in Moscow during the Miss Universe Pageant.”
Mr. Giuliani claimed Devin Trump is responsible for the rest of the President’s scandals as well.
“Trump University? That was Devin. The Trump Foundation’s fraud? That was Devin and his three kids: Devin Jr., Devanka, and Deric. All of the crimes of the Trump family are really just one big mix-up. Bob Mueller is going after the wrong guy!”