South Carolina’s New Gerrymandered Map Put All Black Residents In 1 District

Columbia, SC—

Republicans are at the ol’ gerrymandering game again, this time in South Carolina.

Using a state-of-the-art computer analysis program, Republicans have cut and diced the state’s districting map to maximize electoral power for the Republican Party by cramming all residents of color into just one district.

The computerized precision has created a new District 4 like a web of strings so that the district is not geographically confined like the others, and instead includes voters from every corner of the state—if they’re hispanic, black or Asian.

Even interracial couples’ houses are split up, so that a black wife is counted in district 4 while her white husband is counted in another.

The districting scheme earned immediate lawsuits from civil liberty groups, but Republican lawmakers in the South Carolina legislature insist they’ve done nothing illegal.

“This district is completely fair,” said SC representative Arnold Whitman. “You want to talk about unfair? Let’s talk about the fact that this district full of minorities will vote somewhere in the upper 90 percentages for Democrats. Especially now that we’ve segregated them. Is it fair for black people to never vote for Republicans simply because we regularly pass legislation that seems intentionally designed to exclude them from the rights and privileges white people have? How about we let black people into more than one district when they start voting for Republicans 50% of the time? And don’t even get me started on Hispanics! They should hardly be allowed to vote at all because they’re biased against Trump and Republicans for trying to deport them all, and putting their babies alone in cages for weeks at a time. It’s not racist to want to deport an entire group of people based on skin color, what’s racist is for that group to then vote overwhelmingly against the political party that does the baby caging! Republicans are not all the same, and I’m personally fed up by being profiled by voters of color who see the R next to my name and immediately think of me as a second-class politician!”

Democratic lawmakers in the state were outraged by the gerrymandering.

“It is so obvious that this districting scheme is blatantly racist,” said Democratic state senator Kirby Martin. “The GOP has some serious race issues that we cannot ignore any longer. And it isn’t just South Carolina. Look at current and recent Congressional districting maps of MichiganPennsylvaniaOhioNorth CarolinaTexas and Wisconsin. Any state that’s even remotely close to being a swing state, Republicans have fucked up because cheating is the only way they can keep power in our increasingly woke and liberal times. It’s criminal. And the easiest and most effective way to gerrymander a state is to draw the district boundaries according to racial demographics because the Republican Party generally sucks at outreach to minorities because they coincidentally have a tendency to elect racists. So they screw with the maps and choose their own voters instead of letting the people of their states choose their representatives. And it’s only going to be getting worse for Republicans, because their policies and ideology are so backward that Millennials identify with liberal politics by a margin of 2-1. Republicans are on borrowed time, and, already, Republicans have lost the popular vote in 6 of the last 7 elections. George W. Bush alone won more votes than the Democrat since 2000, and even that is suspect considering the cheating in Ohio that went on. Republicans know they’re fucked, so now they’re doubling down on political fraud in order to preserve minority power over a majority of Americans who are liberal and hate Republican positions on nearly every issue, from the GOP’s climate change and evolution denialism, to their obsessions with unfettered rights to high-velocity semi-assault weapons, un-Christ-like Christian political supremacy, and, again, racism.”

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