Tomi Lahren Says She Wishes MLK Jr. Was Still Alive So She Could Tell Him To “Sit Down And Shut Up”

New York City, NY—

Tomi Lahren today was a guest on Fox & Friends, and she articulated her regret that Martin Luther King, Jr. is not still alive.

“I wish Martin Luther King Jr. was still alive,” Lahren said. “Such a big figure in the black community, and a world-famous peaceful protester. I wish I could have been there at one of his sit-ins. I would have loved screaming at him to get out of the burger joint. Or yelled at black kids at my school sneaking a drink from the water fountain clearly marked for whites. Or yelled at Rosa Parks to get to the back of the bus. It would have been a stretch to claim that Rosa was disrespecting the troops by sitting in the front of the bus, but I think I could have done it. And Ruby Bridges. I so wish I could have been there for her first day of integrated school. I have a portrait of her I printed out and taped to the back of one of the pillars on my porch so when I’m sitting outside I can practice my spitting aim. I’ve measured it out, and I think if I had been there on that day I could have gotten her if I would have been able to get to the first three rows of the protest. And don’t let me forget about Malcolm X. Black and Muslim? I could do a daily show on him! Instead, here I am in boring 2020. All I have is Colin Kaepernick. Telling him to shut his mouth and get up off his knee is fun, but it’s nothing like the excitement white supremacists got to have in the 50s and 60s. If I could go back in time, I’d go to the 50s before all the dumb civil rights stuff ruined all the fun. Or maybe the 1910s, so I could be there and help when the Ku Klux Klan was getting started. I look great in white.”

Follow The Halfway Post on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/thehalfwaypost, Tumblr at https://halfwaypost.tumblr.com, or Instagram @thehalfwaypost for more liberal, political humor and satire!

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

Leave a Reply