Lindsey Graham Wants To Subpoena Joe Biden’s 103-Year-Old Mother

Washington D.C.—

The Senate impeachment trial of President Donald Trump has turned extremely partisan in recent weeks, and Senator Lindsey Graham exacerbated the hyper-partisan tensions this morning when he published a series of tweets calling for Joe Biden’s mother to provide testimony.

Mrs. Biden is 103 years old, and Democrats immediately called the idea “preposterous,” “absurd,” and “ridiculous.”

The following are Mr. Graham’s tweets:

“If Democrats want John Bolton to testify, they have to give us Joe Biden’s mother! I can’t wait to grill her about her son and grandson. I don’t care if her bones are frail, I’ll carry her up the Senate stairs myself if I have to. That broad is going to testify all day until she admits her son and grandson never should have been born!”

“In fact, Mrs. Biden should be in jail for giving birth to a son who would challenge Donald Trump in this election! That old granny’s uterus is keeping America from being great again! From now on, #LockHerUp refers to Mrs. Biden! When the police arrest her, they shouldn’t be too careful! Knock her head and be rough, just like Trump said! I bet she’s lying about being elderly, just like Democrats lie about everything else!”

“I’ve just been alerted that Mrs. Biden, is in fact, no longer with us. May she rest in peace, and may God bless her soul… but let’s dig up her bones here on Earth and throw those in jail! Donald Trump is so innocent of all wrongdoing that anyone who ever runs against him in an election and their mothers all ought to be put in jail, dead or alive! Our democracy is being shredded apart by all these Democrats who want to get more votes than him in an election!”

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