Trump Told A McDonalds Cashier He Wouldn’t Pay Unless Given Dirt On Biden

Washington D.C.—

The Halfway Post just conducted an exclusive interview with a McDonalds cashier who says President Donald Trump came into the fast food restaurant last summer and threatened not to pay for his food unless the employees gave him political dirt on Joe Biden.

The cashier kept Trump’s receipt, and the credit card number used matches Trump’s account.

“Trump came in and ordered two big macs with extra sauce, cooked well-done, a large fry with extra salt, a large chocolate shake with extra salt, and two diet cokes,” explained Juan David Torres, the cashier who assisted Trump. “I tried to explain to him that we had free refills, and that he didn’t need to buy two cups, but he yelled out that the wall just got ten feet higher. I guess because I’m hispanic, but my family is descended from Venezuela, not Mexico. Then the Secret Service agents with him made a hand signal that suggested it would be pointless to argue, so I gave him the two cups.”

But then things got weird.

“When I asked him for his credit card, he held it out but quickly took it away when I reached for it, and said that he was withholding the money. He said I could only run his card if I gave him some dirt on Joe Biden. I said I didn’t have anything against Biden, and thought he’d make a fine president, which seemed to upset Trump. So he said, in that case, that he’d need me to go to a local news station and claim something like Joe Biden clogged the toilet in the McDonalds bathroom, or had sex with a McFlurry, or that his son Hunter Biden had gotten caught selling weed in the parking lot or something like that. I said I didn’t care to do that, so he said, ‘fine, then I’m not paying,’ and I told him I was paid way too low of an hourly wage to care at all about his attempted extortion. I said if Republicans would ever stop fighting moderate raises in the minimum wage or sensible healthcare reform I might say something about Biden, but until then I’d be voting Democrat. This made him more upset, and he threatened to sign a new tariff into law raising the prices on all of McDonalds’ food items, and, again, I said it wouldn’t affect me in any way. He said I might get my pay or hours cut if McDonalds’ costs went up, and I asked if he was finally admitting that Americans pay tariffs, and not China like he always claims. This made him freak, and he threatened to call ICE on me, but I’m a legal citizen so I told him to go ahead. Then he said the wall just got twenty feet higher, and stormed out yelling that he was going to Taco Bell instead of our McDonalds for ‘real American food‘ What an idiot.”

From The Halfway Post vault:

Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s