During A Coronavirus Briefing, Trump Put His Whole Tiny Hand In His Mouth

Washington D.C.—

During a press conference this morning that President Donald Trump hosted with several of his healthcare and coronavirus advisers regarding recommended guidelines in which the American public can minimize the risk of getting infected with the coronavirus, Mr. Trump was seen doing the following:

  • Pick his nose.
  • Touch his lips and eyes repeatedly.
  • Cough into his open palms.
  • Sneeze onto Chief-of-Staff Mark Meadows’ face, who was sitting next to the President.
  • Put his whole tiny hand into his mouth up to his wrist and suck on it for several moments.
  • Shake hands with all of his advisers individually.
  • Lick his finger and simulate burning it on his buttocks when Ivanka Trump walked past.
  • Put his hand into his pants, appear to adjust his genitals, and then smell his hand.
  • Give a high five to Surgeon General Jerome Adams for doing a good job in his presentation immediately following Adams’ advice not to touch other people’s hands.
  • Sneeze on Mark Meadows’ face a second time.
  • Drop a foundation sponge on the ground, pick it up, and blend his orange makeup a little further into his hairline.
  • Bite his fingers nails when a reporter mentioned President Obama’s successful containment efforts during the Ebola epidemic.
  • Put his whole tiny hand into his mouth up to his wrist again and suck on it for several more moments.

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