Trump’s Tweets Are Like Miles Davis, Van Gogh, Or Shakespeare In Their Prime

St. Louis, MO—

President Donald Trump is an artistic genius, whose brilliance with the English language easily surpasses Shakespeare with his milestone works of Hamlet, Macbeth and King Lear.

The imagery Mr. Trump describes with poignant phrases like “she was bleeding badly from a face-lift” and “blood coming out of her wherever” dwarf anything Van Gogh ever painted, and makes his paintings look drab and expressionless in comparison.

And Trump’s ability to riff about all the phonies, clowns, dummies, lightweights, losers, and failing-low-ratings-fake-news journalists displays more of a jazz talent than anything Miles Davis recorded on “Kind of Blue.”

The Halfway Post has compiled our top ten list of the most artistically exquisite works of art President Trump has ever tweeted:

  1. “My IQ is so high, and it makes the haters so sad, and that’s why Russian billionaires only buy my properties out of all the properties in the country, and have been buying way more of my properties since I took over as President, and pay way more than market value. Because of my IQ!”
  2. “Steve Bannon’s face looks like someone took a dump, ate that dump, and then dumped out that dump before barfing it out and taking one last dump on all of it.”
  3. “Why does everyone freak out about Justin Trudeau? I’m so much hotter… and American! He has no muscle. Two of him could fit inside of me because I’m double the manly physique.”
  4. “Robert Pattinson deserves so much better than Kristen Stewart. She doesn’t know what she’s giving up by cheating on him. I would never have done what she did, I’d have treated Robert right!”
  5. Ivanka’s got such an amazing figure, what hips! Her kids are so lucky to have been born out of that body. I wish I could have been her son and up in there, if you know what I mean!”
  6. “Could Angele Merkel put on some red lipstick and some heels for once? I try to pay attention to her talk about NATO but it’s like she’s not even trying to get my attention!”
  7. “Time Magazine won’t make me Person of the Year because my IQ is so high that their reporters can’t keep up when interviewing me, and are too intimidated by my tremendous deals. They tell their boss that no one makes deals like Trump, they can’t believe the deals!”
  8. “Why is Kim Jong Un calling me an ugly stubby fatso? Is he forgetting that he’s the Asian one? I’ve taken dumps with bigger nuclear arsenals than North Korea!”
  9. “The Bible is my favorite book except Art of the Deal. I wonder how many ghostwriters Jesus had.”
  10. “Mini Mike Bloomberg is a total clown. He wears makeup, has fake hair, small hands, and is so obsessed with himself. Very small IQ, unlike me, whose IQ is well over four digits!”

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