New York City, NY—
According to RNC insiders, President Trump’s kids Eric and Donald Jr. are planning to perform a skit at the Republican convention that they wrote. The skit will feature them playing two black Democrat characters, and they will be donning blackface.
The Halfway Post got a sneak peek of their skit’s script, and the following details are included:
- The skit opens with Don Jr. and Eric eating watermelon.
- Eric’s dialogue is all in ebonics.
- Both announce they’re voting for Kanye West.
- They give their dad credit for Obama’s 8 years of job growth for black Americans
- Several lines of dialogue argue about what African country Kamala Harris’ birth certificate “really says.”
- They claim that their dad only kept black people from renting Trump properties in the 70s because their dad was trying to protect them from the slum-like conditions of the Trump homes and apartments.
- For some reason they read all the excerpts from the Bible endorsing slavery.
- They accuse black people of judging Republicans by the “R” next to their name and not the content of their character.
- There are no less than 8 uses of the phrase “fo’ shizzle my nizzle.”
- They claim their grandpa wasn’t in the KKK, he just got arrested the same night as a KKK rally because he happened to be bringing home his laundry of white bed sheets and was confused for a KKK member in a coincidental incident of bad luck.
- At one point Don Jr.’s character mentions his uncle Tom, and Eric says his favorite black hero is Stanley Hudson from The Office.
- They blame Democrats for slavery and the Civil War, but then say Confederate monuments must be protected because they are the only thing teaching black people about the history of slavery.
- Several lines of dialogue seem to suggest they think Martin Luther King Jr. was white.
- The skit closes with a timer going off, and Eric announcing that their cornbread in the oven is ready to eat.
Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!