Ivanka Trump: “Why Don’t Unemployed People Just Get Jobs In Their Parents’ Companies?”

Washington D.C.—

Presidential adviser Ivanka Trump today offered brief remarks at a press conference about economic development.

“I don’t understand how our unemployment numbers could get so high,” Ms. Trump said. “What are all these jobless people doing? It’s not like there aren’t jobs. Why don’t they just go to work at their parents’ companies? That’s always an option. When I graduated from college I didn’t know what kind of career I wanted to pursue, so I just got a temporary summer job as executive vice-president of the Trump Organization. It turned out to be a great fit, and almost immediately I was a millionaire so I ended up staying on for quite a while. If I could do it anyone can.”

Reporters were silent with their eyebrows raised, so she continued.

“So why don’t more people just jump back into the economy with mom and dad in the family business? You know, after several years working at the Trump Organization, I found myself getting bored and wanting to switch career paths. A lot of people don’t have the willpower to make it happen, but you just have to try. I was nervous about switching industries at first, but I decided to jump into the deep end, so to speak, of public service. I applied for a job in my dad’s presidential administration and got hired ten minutes later. See? It’s not so hard, and I’d love it if my story and my struggles inspired all the unemployed people out there to pick themselves up by the boot straps like I did! They don’t have to squander their time sitting at home and collecting unemployment, you know? I don’t understand why more people don’t just stop being poor.”

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3 thoughts

  1. “I don’t understand why more people don’t just stop being poor.”

    Thanks for inspiring me Ivanka, I guess I just never thought of being rich before, so I’ll stop being poor now.

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