Trump Says He Doesn’t Like Cardi B’s “WAP” Song: “Wet P***ies Are Harder To Grab!”

Courtesy of Cardi B’s “WAP”/Atlantic Records

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump went golfing several days ago with a famous person who has requested anonymity in order to give to The Halfway Post a recording he secretly took of Mr. Trump with his cell phone.

In the recording, Trump can be heard discussing with several golfing buddies his thoughts on Cardi B’s new song “WAP,” which is an acronym for “Wet As* P*ssy.”

The following is a transcript of Trump’s words from the audio recording:

“Jared Kushner showed me the new video of this Cardi B lady. It’s called ‘WAP.’ I was very interested at first because I thought it was making fun of Italians, and racial jokes based on ethnic stereotypes are my favorites, but it was actually very different. Jared told me it stands for ‘wet as* p*ssy.’ He thought I might like it because of all the p*ssy grabbing I do, but I listened to the lyrics and found myself very much disapproving of the song. When I listened a second time through, I really started to worry that the lyrics might make a bad impression on people. You know, a lot of people don’t know this, but a wet p*ssy is very hard to grab. You can’t just go up to women and grab them if they’re fully lubricated. There’s no traction. Your hand will slide right off and they’ll get away. I like a good, dry p*ssy. That’s what makes grabbing easy. Also, I’ve found that wet p*ssies are indicative of loose women, both morally and physically! The porn stars I pay always ask me if I’m in yet after I’ve been going for a while already! That’s why I like to catch women unaware! But then they get all b*tchy and try to sue me. Thank God I’m the sitting president so I can’t be indicted!”

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