New York City, NY—
According to publishing insiders, Donald Trump Jr. is very frustrated that pre-orders of his upcoming book aren’t higher.
The book’s title is Liberal Privilege: Why I’m A Better President’s Son Than Hunter Biden Ever Will Be, and Russian oligarchs just don’t seem to be interested in buying the same number of copies of it as they bought of Don Jr.’s first book.
“To be honest, Don Jr.’s choice to self-publish his sequel has really led to a reduction in quality,” explained Russian coal oligarch Dimitri Valinistov, who only pre-ordered 200 copies of the book compared to 1,5000 purchased copies of Don Jr.’s first book. “The editors of Triggered did some great work cleaning up his manuscript, but this sequel is just atrocious. Don Jr. wrote way too many meandering monologues about his dad never saying ‘I love you’ that any professional editor right away would have known to cut out. It’s just embarrassing. I thought the book was supposed to be about Hunter Biden.”
Other Russian oligarchs had similar opinions.
“I bought 2,500 copies of Don Jr.’s first book,” said Russian natural gas oligarch Ivan Rostrovan, “but I’m not buying any this time around. I saw an early draft and was not impressed. Very low-quality writing, if you ask me. I know Vlad Putin wants me to launder a lot of money into the Trump family’s accounts ahead of the election, but I’ll just donate to a Republican superPAC, or buy out a floor of the Trump DC hotel, or something else. There is no way I’m going to help encourage Donald Jr. to write any more books! I feel bad for the English language. I’m thankful Don Jr. isn’t writing any books in my beloved Russian!”
From The Halfway Post vault:
Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!