Ivanka Wants Trump To Fire Pence, Appoint Her As VP For 2 Months As A Resumé Boost

Washington D.C.—

According to White House insiders, Ivanka Trump is trying to convince her father, President Donald Trump, to fire Vice President Mike Pence for the last two months of his presidency so that she can replace him.

“The President says he likes the idea of injecting some last-minute sex appeal into his lame duck administration,” explained a White House staffer, who requested anonymity to discuss internal deliberations, “but Pence is furious about the idea after four years of his unquestionable loyalty to even the most morally deranged aspects of Trump’s decision-making and leadership. In retaliation, Pence called Ivanka a ‘hussy’ the other day, and tried to appeal to the President’s ego by arguing that keeping him on as VP for the remainder of the term proves to the media once and for all that he is, in fact, a stable genius. Ivanka, meanwhile, wants to be able to put ‘Vice President’ on her resumé and help promote her own future political ambitions, and has been stoking her father’s incestual jealousy by telling him that she thought Pence was kind of a cute dad to his daughters hoping Trump would fire him to keep all of Ivanka’s paternal attention to himself.”

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