Donald Trump’s Eating Habits Were Exposed In A White House Chef’s New Memoir

Washington D.C.—

Former White House chef Lisa Markowitz just published a memoir of her time as executive chef for President Donald Trump.

“I saw some real weird s***,” said Markowitz. “Disturbing things. Some things I can’t unsee, and I see them vividly behind my eyes at night while lying in bed in the dark. Some of Donald Trump’s eating habits continue to haunt my dreams, even months later. If I could go back and warn myself not to take the job, I would.”

Below are several preview excerpts Markowitz’s publisher has shared with The Halfway Post:

  • Trump sprinkles ground up Adderall pills in his ice cream.
  • Trump told UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson he invented the recipe for McDonalds’ McRib sandwich.
  • On Saturday mornings Trump always requested 8 pancakes arranged in two stacks with strawberries cut into circles placed in the middle of each stack so they looked like boobs. Then he wouldn’t eat them, but would just stick his face into them and make motor-boating sounds.
  • Trump eats cereal every morning, but instead of milk he uses Diet Coke.
  • Trump occasionally has his daughter Ivanka “pre-chew” his food for him. He told Jim Jordan it’s the closest he’ll ever come to making out with her.
  • When Trump left the White House, he always had his son Eric try all his food first to make sure it’s not poisoned.
  • Trump tried to deport every Taco Bell restaurant before he found out it was an American company. Then he called Taco Bell’s CEO and suggested they sell McRibs.
  • Trump and his adviser Stephen Miller regularly bragged about the biggest restaurant bills they’ve ever racked up and not tipped their servers on.
  • Trump ordered that the White House chefs spit in any food served to his former Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and demanded he see them do it.
  • Trump has popped no less than 16 buttons on his pants and shirts from overeating, and every time he claimed buttons were “rigged against him.”
  • Trump once told an entire women’s college softball championship-winning team during a White House luncheon that they’d all be hotter if they each lost 15 pounds.
  • Trump made Lindsey Graham eat three plates of lasagna, and then throw up in Ted Cruz’s open mouth in exchange for endorsing each of them.
  • Trump literally not even one time dined with Melania.
  • A few times that Trump’s son Barron came downstairs to eat at the same time as him, Trump called him “Boy,” and treated him like a server apparently unaware of who he was.

More from The Halfway Post vault:

Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Twitter here, Facebook here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here and subscribe to our Substack newsletter The Halfway Café here.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s