Top Evangelical Magazine Recommends Donald Trump Be Retroactively Aborted

New York City, NY—

A top Evangelical Christian magazine called Heaven Weekly published a cover story editorial today endorsing President Donald Trump’s impeachment, and going even further to recommend that the President be retroactively aborted.

The following is their published remarks:

“We don’t usually condone abortion, or even most forms of contraception,” explained the magazine’s editorial board, “But President Donald Trump is such a deplorable, morally depraved human being that we believe God made a rare mistake in allowing him to be born, let alone elected President. From cheating on his wife, to colluding with Russia; from extorting foreign countries and using America’s foreign policy for his blatantly personal gain, to stealing charity money intended for kids with cancer; from scamming students with a fake university, to being sued by the government for racist business practices; from splitting up families and losing immigrant children to sex slavery, to the couple dozen sexual assault lawsuits against him; from obstructing justice, to lying about virtually everything; from bullying anyone and everyone on Twitter, to pretending to be Christian after 70+ years of truly antichrist-like behavior; Donald Trump is just a giant piece of crap staining the history and culture of the United States of America. We implore all Christians of the world to unite in prayer and beg God to erase Donald Trump entirely from existence.”

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