Washington D.C.—
Representative Matt Gaetz recently got blacklisted by President Donald Trump for voting against his wishes on a House bill, but Gaetz has reportedly now gotten himself un-blacklisted after completing a gauntlet of humiliating pranks Trump devised.
The following are hazing activities Gaetz had to complete in order to be back on Trump’s good side:
- Spend a weekend walking around Mar-a-Lago wearing nothing but a diaper
- Get a tattoo of Trump’s face on his butt
- Contract pink eye after sleeping on a pillow that Trump, Lindsey Graham, and Jim Jordan all farted on
- Submit a House bill asking Congress to adopt a resolution to formally recognize Matt Gaetz as a “b****”
- Drink an old, expired bottle of Trump vodka until he threw up
- Let Eric and Don Jr. shoot him with a BB gun
- Play one round of Russian roulette
- Send a dick pic to Ivanka
- Suck each of Mike Pompeo’s toes for 10 seconds each
- Put his hand in a mousetrap
- Spend a night in a Texan migrant concentration camp
- Be a dishwasher at Mar-a-Lago for a Saturday double-shift
- Drink a cup of expired milk
- Get a physical from Jim Jordan’s gropey wrestling team doctor
- Leave a message on AOC’s office phone asking her out on a date
- Hang out with Stephen Miller for a night
From The Halfway Post vault:
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