Trump Made Matt Gaetz Wear A Diaper To Become Un-Blacklisted

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

Washington D.C.—

Representative Matt Gaetz recently got blacklisted by President Donald Trump for voting against his wishes on a House bill, but Gaetz has reportedly now gotten himself un-blacklisted after completing a gauntlet of humiliating pranks Trump devised.

The following are hazing activities Gaetz had to complete in order to be back on Trump’s good side:

  • Spend a weekend walking around Mar-a-Lago wearing nothing but a diaper
  • Get a tattoo of Trump’s face on his butt
  • Contract pink eye after sleeping on a pillow that Trump, Lindsey Graham, and Jim Jordan all farted on
  • Submit a House bill asking Congress to adopt a resolution to formally recognize Matt Gaetz as a “b****”
  • Drink an old, expired bottle of Trump vodka until he threw up
  • Let Eric and Don Jr. shoot him with a BB gun
  • Play one round of Russian roulette
  • Send a dick pic to Ivanka
  • Suck each of Mike Pompeo’s toes for 10 seconds each
  • Put his hand in a mousetrap
  • Spend a night in a Texan migrant concentration camp
  • Be a dishwasher at Mar-a-Lago for a Saturday double-shift
  • Drink a cup of expired milk
  • Get a physical from Jim Jordan’s gropey wrestling team doctor
  • Leave a message on AOC’s office phone asking her out on a date
  • Hang out with Stephen Miller for a night

From The Halfway Post vault:

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