Trump Made Matt Gaetz Wear A Diaper To Become Un-Blacklisted

Washington D.C.—

Representative Matt Gaetz recently got blacklisted by President Donald Trump for voting against him on a House bill vote, but Gaetz has now become un-blacklisted after completing a gauntlet of humiliating pranks Trump devised.

The following are a list of things Gaetz reportedly had to do in order to be back on Trump’s good side:

  • Drink a cup of Trump’s urine
  • Spend a weekend walking around Mar-a-Lago wearing nothing but a diaper
  • Get a tattoo of Trump’s face on his butt
  • Contract pink eye after sleeping on a pillow that Trump, Lindsey Graham, and Jim Jordan all farted on.
  • Drink a bottle of Trump vodka until he threw up
  • Let Eric and Don Jr. shoot him with a BB gun ten times each
  • Commit to doing Trump’s laundry for 6 months
  • Play one round of Russian roulette
  • Collect ten cockroaches around Mar-a-Lago and eat them
  • Send a dick pic to Ivanka
  • Massage Mike Pompeo’s feet for 20 minutes
  • Put his hand in a mousetrap
  • Spend a night in a Texan migrant concentration camp
  • Be a dishwasher at Mar-a-Lago for a double-shift
  • Drink a cup of expired milk
  • Hang out with Stephen Miller for a night

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(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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