Trump Called Ivanka A “Hot Piece Of Meat” He’d “Love To Put Ketchup On”

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump today waxed poetic on the physical appearance of his daughter Ivanka in a conversation with Sean Hannity on Fox News, and it got a little weird.

The following is an excerpt transcription of their conversation:

HANNITY: “How would you rate your kids’ performances in both your administration and the Trump Organization?”

TRUMP: “Oh, tremendous. Truly some of the best kids ever. Don Jr. is doing great work, and balancing the business with a lot of campaigning and television appearances defending me, and Eric is helping him. Since Eric’s children’s cancer charity got shut down by the State of New York so unfairly for just a little bit of fraud, he’s been helping more at Trump Tower. And Jared is great, too. He just unveiled his new Middle East peace plan, and everyone is being so unfair to him by lying about it and saying it makes the whole situation worse. Even the Jews didn’t like the plan, which is totally unfair because I moved the embassy to Jerusalem. They’re not doing me a favor after the giant favor I did for them. Can you imagine them treating Jesus this way? But Jared’s doing a lot of tremendous things.”

HANNITY: “And what about Ivanka? How would you rate her?”

TRUMP: “Total ten. Ten for her boobs, ten for that ass, ten for her legs.”

HANNITY: “I meant her work performance.”

TRUMP: “Oh, ten on that as well. She’s just so smart. Incredible beauty, incredible brain. Trump brain. Trumps have some of the best brains of all time. I went to Wharton, graduated top of my class.”

HANNITY: “Really, the top?”

TRUMP: “Yep. I was the best of the best. They wanted to give me a business degree after my first year, but I said ‘no thanks, I’ll stay all four years.’ All my professors couldn’t believe the papers I was turning in. They said my papers were the best they ever read. They wanted me to teach the grad school classes in my free time, but I turned that down as well. You know me, I’m very modest. But. yeah, if you look at my transcript you’ll see straight A’s for four straight years.”

HANNITY: “Wow, why don’t you release your transcript and let all the libtards see it?”

TRUMP: “I’d love to, but it’s being audited, and you know how that whole thing goes…”

HANNITY: “Couldn’t the university just release your transcript?”

TRUMP: “If they do I will sue them for $5 billion. …Cause of the audit. No one takes IRS integrity more seriously than me, you know?”

HANNITY: “Of course, of course. And how are your other kids doing?”

TRUMP: “Stefanie is doing amazing, amazing things.”

HANNITY: “Do you mean Tiffany?”

TRUMP: “That’s what I said, Tiffany. Actually, Stefanie is her middle name, so I didn’t get it wrong. I never misremember anything. One of the greatest memories in history. Sometimes I call her by her middle name.”

HANNITY: “Her name is Tiffany Stefanie Trump?”

TRUMP: “Great name. Tremendous name. One of the best names ever.”

HANNITY: “How is Melania’s ‘Be Best’ going?”

TRUMP: “Honestly, Melania’s chest is starting to sag a little bit. She’s getting a little old now. Usually when my wives pass their mid-forties it’s time for me to upgrade, but I kind of have to wait till after I’m President on this one.”

HANNITY: “I meant Melania’s ‘Be Best’ project… the anti-bullying campaign?”

TRUMP: “Ohhhhh, ‘Be Best!’ It’s going great. Way better than anything Michelle Obama ever did. I know I’ve learned so much about bullying. It’s definitely made me see things in a new light. Like how much CNN sucks when they’re always trying to bully me. I’m the nicest president. probably of all time, and they act like I’m some kind of jerk. The Fake News media just doesn’t live in reality, do they?”

HANNITY: “They’ll never get it, just like they’ll never understand real America. The Fake News at this point is physically addicted to lying about you. So what, you’ve got some illegal immigrants concentrated indefinitely in camps with substandard living conditions, but that’s the furthest thing from a Nazi concentration camp! It’s not even close! And you go around calling the media ‘sub-human vermin,’ Mexicans ‘rapists,’ blacks ‘thugs,’ and liberals ‘election cheaters’ and ‘traitors’… but you’re the furthest thing from divisive. If anything, you’re uniting the country with pure hatred for the slight majority of the country that votes against you. Liberals are just losers who can’t accept the fact that their popular vote victories aren’t enough to win them majority representative power in our government. And they’re such babies about it.”

TRUMP: “And they even hate Ivanka. How could you hate Ivanka? Look at her. Such a piece of meat. This will sound weird, but it would be so hot if I could put ketchup on her. Her body is like a mouth-watering steak cooked well done.”

HANNITY: “No filter, everybody! He just says what he thinks. And that’s why America loves you. Man of the people!”

TRUMP: “Sometimes I think about what I’d look like as a girl. Ivanka is tremendous, but she has only half my genes. I have 100% of my genes. Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I were a girl? I’d love to see myself at 13. Yowza! That would be a piece of ass I could do locker room talk about all day. I’d have to keep myself away from Epstein, if you know what I mean! Or, from what they say, you know? I barely ever knew him. If he was here in this room with you and me, I wouldn’t be able to pick him out and tell who is who. Maybe he got coffee for me one time or something, who knows? But yeah, I’d have a tremendous body if I were a chick. What would my girl name be? Danielle Trump? Dani Trump? Dana Trump? I wonder what my tits would be like if I were Ivanka’s age. I’ll tell you what, though, I wouldn’t have any kids. I’d keep my body hot. As soon as all my wives had kids, their bodies went straight down the toilet. You just can’t respect a woman after she’s carried a baby around for nine months. It’s like they just give up on having a thin waist around month five or so.”

HANNITY: “Telling it like it is! That’s why you’re the best President ever. No political-correctness from you!”

TRUMP: “The only good thing about a pregnant wife is that she stops having a period for nine months and stops bleeding all over the place. But the birth thing is just a total mess. I can’t watch it. I always let the mothers raise the kids by themselves. I call them on their birthdays and stuff, but it’s like, ‘see me when you’re 18.’ But I’m doing something right. My kids turned out so great. Who knew parenting was so easy. My hag ex-wives always said it was hard, but they didn’t have a Trump brain so I can see why it was difficult for them.”

HANNITY: “Incredible. Thank you so much for granting me this interview. Can I massage your feet for you now?”

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