Ted Cruz Legally Changed His Name To “Ted Trump” To Boost His 2024 Election Chances

Washington D.C.—

Senator Ted Cruz is apparently interested in campaigning for president again in 2024, and his Senate staff earlier today announced that Mr. Cruz has legally changed his name to “Ted Trump” in order to better appeal to President Donald Trump’s current political base of supporters.

“I’m a Trump now,” explained Cruz to reporters this afternoon. “So if you’re a fan of Donald Trump, why not give Ted Trump a turn as president next to carry on the Trump torch while making America great again?”

Reporters asked whether he thought Donald Trump Jr. or Ivanka Trump would run against him in 2024.

“I don’t believe they’ve decided yet.” Cruz said. “But now that they’re practically my brother and sister, I’d welcome them into the 2024 race. May the best Trump win! Just remember that I’m the oldest and most experienced Trump, and I’ve been patiently waiting to be president since the second grade, so I believe it’s my turn first. They can be president after me.”

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(Picture courtesy of Jamelle Bouie.)

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