QAnon Wants You To Pee On Your Kids So Democrats Can’t Smell Their Youthful Blood

(Picture courtesy of Anthony Crider.)

St. Louis, MO—

The conspiracy ringleader Q of QAnon just posted a Q drop with a list of the following tips for Patriot believers to prepare themselves for Donald Trump’s upcoming return to the presidency:

  • Douse your children with your urine every morning so that Democrats can’t smell their rich, youthful blood. Kids’ blood is like ripe fruit for socialists, communists, and environmentalists. It has been rumored that Nancy Pelosi can smell a toddler from 25 miles away.
  • Smear your own feces across your forehead as a sign to other Patriot believers that you have their back and will join them when the Storm arrives and things get messy.
  • Stop bathing. You need to be ready to head into the hills and start a guerilla-style war outside the nearest liberal-run city to form a blockade and cut off their supply lines, and the sooner you get used to the stench and grossness you will experience in the field will only make you a more valuable teammate and guerilla. The effort to violently reinstall Emperor Trump could take years or even decades. Prepare yourself to keep on fighting long after Trump is even alive.
  • Keep in a butt plug at all times. You never know when the civil war will erupt, and the top secret Deep State supporters of Donald Trump in the FBI and CIA have special weapons that will make only Antifa, BLM, and socialist terrorists defecate on themselves in public as long as you keep in your special, Q-approved butt plug.
  • Get a swastika tattoo on a conveniently revealed location on your body, but one that is easily covered up when in public for your protection, like a forearm, or your calf. When the Storm arrives, this will be our mark to prove loyalty. It also nicely gets back at all the libtards who called us Nazis for so many years. They were so wrong about that, weren’t they? And now the joke is on them because we’re actually going to BECOME Nazis! Ha! Take that libtards!
  • Get together with your Q buddies and take turns punching each other in the face so you can prepare mentally and physically for the pain of hand-to-hand combat. Men, let yourselves get kicked in the nuts. Women, pull each other’s hair. When hair starts coming out in your fists, you know you’re ready for the Storm!
  • Eat a lot. Most of you are overweight anyway, and the more obese you can get before the Storm means the longer you can last in the wilderness from your body converting your fat into energy.
  • Start putting phallic-shaped vegetables up your butt, and gradually increase the length and girth to stretch out the elasticity of your colon. When the Storm arrives we may need to smuggle weapons and intel in and out of liberal cities, and we all have top-secret vaults built-in, so to speak. Remember, it’s not gay if you’re doing it for Trump, even if he is a man.
  • Single men only: if women want nothing to do with you, keep trying to impress them in all the impotent ways in which you typically flirt. We need all the pent-up, involuntary celibate rage your unf***able loser life can give to the Q cause.

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