President Donald Trump has reportedly canceled the North Korean peace deal because of Trump’s displeasure with Dictator Kim Jong-un’s single request for giving up his nuclear weapons: Trump has to walk up a single flight of stairs.
Mr. Trump explained his decision to cut off diplomatic ties with North Korea in the following series of Tweets:
“I have never been more insulted in my entire life. Everyone knows I can walk up stairs, people always say how great I am at walking up stairs. I can totally walk up eight steps. But no US President should ever walk up stairs for a dictator! Those days are over!”
“How about Kim Jong-un walks up stairs for AMERICA? MAGA! He’s fatter than me, anyway. He needs the exercise! And his hair is totally fake. Mine is all natural, all real, but I can totally tell his hair looks RIDICULOUS!”
“And why does everyone make fun of my tie? Would the FAKE NEWS and LIBERAL MEDIA like it if I dressed like Kim? Would that make the haters happy?!”
“big fake boobs blonde russian”
“Oops, disregard that last tweet. I was only doing research on the Steele Dossier, which is totally fake! Pee tape? Do I look like the guy who would like a golden shower? No thank you, I’m totally dedicated to my wife Melanie, she’s my one and only.”