Trump: “I’d Love To Compare School Grades With AOC, But Mine Are Under Audit!”

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump instigated a Twitter feud this week with Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez over who is smarter, and AOC has challenged Trump to release records of his school transcripts to compare whose grades were better.

Trump addressed the challenge in a Twitter thread today:

“No one wants my grades released publicly more than me, believe me! But, unfortunately, my grades are currently under audit, and no one takes audits more seriously than me! It’s such a shame, too, because my grades were so great you wouldn’t believe it!”

“I got so many A’s, my classes all begged me to tell them how I did it. I tried to help them out and tutor them, but they didn’t have a Trump brain so it didn’t work. I bet AOC’s uncle never worked at MIT like mine did, so how smart could she be?”

“Besides, AOC used to be a bartender, so it’s not like she has great business sense like I had when I was her age. When I was 30 I was already an executive in the Trump Organization! My dad saw such potential in me he promoted me right to the top of the company right out of college!”

“I was so good at business! I tricked my dad when he got dementia pretty bad to kick my siblings out of the will so I got more money! AOC worked to help support her family when she was younger and shared her money because she’s a dummy! She’d never get rich like that, it’s like she doesn’t understand subtraction and addition!”

“And I bet AOC would never kick her nieces and nephews off the health insurance plan her dad paid for like I kicked my nephews and nieces off the insurance plan MY dad bought before he died! AOC isn’t rich from screwing over her family, so I win by default! I’m the smartest!”

“I just so wish I could prove it by releasing my school grades… but the audit, you know? The IRS is looking into my grades so I really shouldn’t even be talking about them here on Twitter. But just know they were such beautiful, tremendous grades that you wouldn’t believe it!”

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