Trump Says His Favorite Bible Story Was When Jesus Built The Ark

Washington D.C .—

President Donald Trump has always had a shaky grasp of Christian theology throughout his political carer, but his latest Bible gaffe has gone viral.

During a prayer breakfast event Mr. Trump was asked what his favorite story from the Bible was, and told the gathered congregation that he loved the story about Jesus building the ark.

The following is a transcript of Trump’s entire response:

“My favorite Bible story? Gosh, there’s so many to choose from I don’t even know where to begin. How could you pick just one? They’re all my favorites. I love them all. Great stories. Some of the best stories of all time. Maybe I’ll be in one some day. People always tell me they’d love it if I was in one. They say the Bible is great, and has great morals, but they’d like to see an Art of the Deal chapter. But Jesus knew a little about deals. He made some great deals. He made the deal for us all to get into Heaven. Great deal. Jesus made Heaven great just like I’m making America great. We’re a great team, me and Jesus. So maybe someday there will be a new Bible with me in it. Wouldn’t that be something? A new Bible? Trust me, no one wants that more than me. I’m one of the great Bible lovers of all time. I read it every day. I can barely put the Bible down I read it so much! You know, a lot of people don’t know this, but the Bible is actually very long. Very long. I thought Art of the Deal was long, but it’s not long like the Bible! Because the Bible has so many tremendous stories. But my favorite story? I think I’d have to go with the one where Jesus builds the ark. Who doesn’t love that one? The way Jesus built that ark, and led all the Jews out of Egypt, and out of slavery taught me so much. I think about that story all the time when I’m making deals as President. I think to myself, ‘What would Jesus do?’ I think about Jesus looking out over the side of the ark waving goodbye to the Pharaoh as he led his Jews to the Promised Land. I think about Jesus sitting down and writing all the pages of the Bible by candlelight while waiting for the ark to find land. ‘What would Jesus do?’ That question always helps me figure out exactly what to do as President.”

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